


Footprints in the Rainstorm

by unbidden_truth



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, K/S Advent Calendar, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 05:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbidden_truth/pseuds/unbidden_truth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running into Carol wasn't something he had planned for when he's back in Riverside during shore leave. But sometimes things aren't meant to be, at least according to Spock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Footprints in the Rainstorm

**Author's Note:**

> Written for KS Advent 2012. Thanks to Amanda and Ashley for organizing KSAdvent and for working with me when I was not able to post on my initial day. Thanks to P. for an early read through. I tinkered quite a bit afterwards and all mistakes are mine.

The bar was crowded, dimly lit with the sounds of some Terran pop song blaring in the background. Some of the servers were wearing Santa hats and winter decorations were hanging haphazardly from the rafters. For a typical Iowan Thursday night though, particularly in the middle of December where temperatures were in the low teens, the bar was unusually packed.

Jim grimaced as he hunched forward, elbows propped on the bar, surveying the crowd, filled mostly with Starfleet personal. He had hoped the bar would've been empty even though he had known about the engineering conference being held in Riverside. It was all Scotty had talked about for the past month as they returned to the Sol system for repairs and a much needed shore leave. Even Spock couldn't hide his excitement whenever he mentioned the conference whether it was to him or rest of the bridge crew. And Jim couldn't help but give a fond smile as he recalled the conversation he had with his Vulcan first officer during their last chess match.

“ _You seem excited,” Jim said as he watched Spock surveying the chess board in between them._

_They finally had a chance to play one of their chess games after almost a month of various envoy runs for the diplomatic convention on Babel. The convention, regarding an entrance of new member to the Federation that had large deposits of dilithium and who had problems with the Orion syndicate, had been stressful to organize mostly due to the resentment between the various members. It had all the ingredients for a disaster in the making, what with ferrying various ambassadors around and tempers flaring and the Enterprise was lucky they had avoided the diplomatic problems other crews had faced._

_That wasn't to say that everything went smoothly, between the severe allergic reaction the Andorian ambassador had to Scotty's homemade brew (which no one could still figure out how he managed to drink any) to the pheromones of the an ambassador's aide causing a fight between several of the ensigns to his own complicated mess with the Deltan ambassador who expressed interest in him. He still could remember Spock's blatant disapproving glare and the various quoting of the rules from the Starfleet handbook that Spock had passive-aggressively left on his PADD._

_And while a part of him lit with hope that perhaps Spock might be upset because he was jealous, Jim had also been irritated with Spock. He had hoped that by now Spock trusted him enough to believe that he would know what the dangers of sleeping with a Deltan meant. And that's besides the fact that he hadn't bother with anyone except for his right hand in the past eight months because he was still mortified about the last incident. The Betazed had asked him who was Spock afterwards and when Jim had stared at him sputtering and embarrassed, the man had just grinned and said maybe he should pursue the person he really wanted._

_Hoping that he wasn't flushing as he pushed that particular memory away, Jim was suddenly glad Spock was looking at the board and not him._

“ _Excited?” Spock stilled, fingers paused above the rook and looking up, his eyes narrowing at Jim._

_Jim grinned as he took in Spock's reaction. He was wearing what Jim called the 'not frown' look on his face._

“ _Yeah about the conference. It's pretty much the only thing you've been talking about tonight.”_

“ _You are exaggerating Jim. We discussed the plans for the new upgrades to the outside hull as well as the latest messages sent from Starfleet Headquarters during the game as well.”_

“ _That still doesn't mean you aren't excited about the conference.”_

“ _While I do agree with the assessment that I am looking forward to the engineering conference, I find your perception that I am 'excited' inaccurate as well as illogical. I have neither used the body language nor have I raised my voice needed to express excitement. Furthermore, it is illogical to be 'excited' about something that I will be attending in 3.53 Standard days, therefore the validity of your statement is lacking.”_

“ _If you say so Commander.” Moving his knight to take out one of Spock's bishop, “Checkmate in three, he replied instead not even bothering to hid his glee._

Shifting slightly, Jim frowned. It was strange to consider the fact that Spock was in his hometown, merely few miles away. He didn't expect to see Spock at the bar tonight, but that didn't help the longing he felt to see his first officer even though it had been less than a week since he had seen him last at the shuttle docking station. _If Bones could see me now,_ he mused as he drained his pint, _he would laugh_. His grouchy best friend had guessed even before Jim had and had promptly told Jim that he was crazy for even liking the 'green-blooded hobgoblin'. But he knew Bones and Spock had reach some sort of agreement in the past three years and that despite all of Bones complaining, his friend grudgingly respected the half-Vulcan.

For a moment, he wished to back on the Enterprise with the rest of his crew. Everyone had disperse to their separate ways for the next few weeks, though he knew some of them like Scotty were planning to stop by for the conference.

The bartender placed another beer in front of him without asking and Jim nodded to him as he accepted it with a low 'thanks.' It was one of the few things he missed while being on the Enterprise. Replicated beer never tasted as good.

Taking another glance around, someone who looked like Admiral Nogura was looking in his direction and Jim ducked down hoping the admiral hadn't recognized him. He wasn't planning on dealing with the brass while he was on fucking shore leave.

“Jim? Jim Kirk?”

Groaning, Jim turned. _I really don't want to deal with anyone from Starfleet tonight._ _Thank god the press isn't here as well._ The tabloids had been hounding him since he had returned to San Francisco that he had to keep his return to Riverside a secret in hopes of avoiding the intergalactic press. It didn't help that Starfleet wanted him to be their poster boy.

He took in the blond hair, the soft blue eyes brought out by the blue science uniform and with a sinking feeling he forced a grin as he recognized the woman in front of him.

“Carol.”

“You remembered me," she said, her face breaking out in a smile, "I thought after becoming captain, you'd forget all the little people.”

“Who could forget you?” the words were out before Jim could think about it. And it was the truth. Carol Marcus was hard to forgot, with blue eyes, sweet smile and her fierce intelligence. It was like he was eighteen again. And the bitter feeling of heartbreak clenched in his chest.

“A flirt as usual. I see some things never changed.”

It's been eight years since he saw her for the last time and he never expected to see her again. They had meet at the same bar Chris Pike would find him being beaten to a pulp three years later. She had been in Riverside doing an engineering internship at the shipyards and he had just been released from the petty vandalism charges his uncle had tried and failed to press against him.

“You look good,” Jim said as he took her in. She had aged well and the shy, awkward girl he fell in love with was replaced with someone much more confident.

“So do you,” She said softly. “You've done well.” He could see the sadness in her eyes and wanted nothing more than to make it better. But it wasn't his place anymore. She had chosen her career over him. But then again, it probably had been the right choice.

“Just got lucky I guess.”

“I suppose I should belatedly congratulate you on becoming a captain. Though to be honest I never expected you to end up at Starfleet of all places,” Carol said, leaning against the bar next to him, “Never pegged you as a military man.”

“I didn't either, And besides it's mostly used as a peace-keeping armada,” Jim replied surprised at his own honesty. “I'm guessing you're here for the conference? Or are you working at the shipyards?”

“Both. I'm presenting tomorrow, but I am also doing some freelance work at the shipyards. Though only until the new Constitution class ship is ready for launch. Then I head out to one of the Denebulan colonies to work on a new project. You?”

“The Enterprise needed some upgrades, though I think Pike and the brass felt bad that they made us ferry diplomats for the past month so they gave us three weeks.”

“So I guess you're visiting your mom?” she asked and Jim isn't sure what to feel knowing that she used to know him so well a long time ago.

“Yeah. Mom is visiting some friends but we're spending the holidays together.”

“So-” she started, but another voice interrupted them, “Captain.”

Knowing that voice anywhere, Jim glanced up to see his first officer walking towards them.

“Spock! I didn't expect you to be out in the cold,” Jim said, a slow smile lighting his face as he met up with the half-Vulcan who was out of his usual blue uniform and was wearing regulation black. _He looks good._

“Admiral Barnett insisted and convinced me that there would be some logic in 'networking as he called it.”

Sensing the slight irritation in Spock's voice, Jim grinned, “You're lying. You only came because they must've pressured you into coming. And don't even pretend that's not true. I can see through your so called argument and you're not going to win.”

“Indeed, Jim,” sounding more amused than angry, Spock said, “I did not expect to see you here but I am pleased that I have.”

Tilting his head, Jim grinned, “Changing the topic but I knew you missed me.”

And before Spock could argue, Jim turned introducing Carol, “This is Commander Carol Marcus. She is an engineer working at the shipyards.”

“I am acquainted with Commander Marcus,” Spock replied raising his hand to form the ta'al, “It is a pleasure to see you again.

“Commander Spock, it's good to see you again as well.”

“Wait, what?” Shocked, Jim asked “You two know each other?”

“She is one of the engineers involved with the new warp core design. Admiral Barret speaks very highly of your recent work,” Spock says turning towards Carol, “And I agree, the new design is fairly innovated. The efficiency is up to Vulcan standards.”

“That is a pretty high praise, Commander. Thank you.”

Watching them, Jim feels a surge of feeling in the pit of his stomach and he's not sure whether to laugh or not that he feels jealous of Carol of all people. _Well that answers the fact of whether I'm over her or not,_ he muses as he listens to Spock and Carol talk about the new design feeling vaguely like a third-wheel.

But before he could start feeling sorry for himself, Spock turned to look at him, his voice warm, “Actually, Commander Marcus, Captain Kirk probably understands the threshold of the dilithium reaction better than most.”

“Really?” Carol asked, surprised.

“Indeed. The captain did minor in engineering. According to his professors, if he had not chosen to pursue the command track, he would have done well as an engineering officer. In addition, one of our recent missions was successful because of the Captain's knowledge of warp drives in which neither I or our chief engineer was able to be present.”

Jim stared at Spock in surprise. It was rare to hear Spock compliment anyone and it always took him by surprise when Spock complimented him.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” Jim replied, softly smiling.

“It is only the truth, Captain.”

Carol glanced between them, question in her eyes as she studied them. Feeling somewhat vulnerable under her suddenly knowing gaze, he pushed his half finished beer on the countertop as well as a few credits.

“It's getting late so I'm going to head out,” he said turning to them both.

“I believe I will follow you out,” Spock replied, “I have some reading to do before tomorrow.”

Carol gave him a firm hug before letting him go with a smile and Jim gave her one in return, “It was good to see you Jim. I'm glad things worked out for you. Maybe we can catch up next time?”

“Yeah, we should. Good luck on your presentation tomorrow and on your work.”

“Perhaps I will see tomorrow at the presentation, Commander Spock.”

“Yes. I am looking forward to hearing about the new design.”

Jim watched her walk away but this time it was without the feeling that his world was crashing.

“Come on, let's go.”

With 'goodbyes' being said in addition to a few minutes of trying to get out of conversation with Admiral Barnett, they finally were able to duck out and leave before being cornered by someone else.

As they walked out the door into the cold weather, Jim turned to Spock, “You know you could've stayed.”

“Based on your experience, do you believe I would want to stay at the bar longer than I already have?”

“No,” Jim replied, amused tucking his hands in his pocket to find his gloves, “Come on, I'll walk with you to wherever you are lodging. Or” noticing Spock shivering, “we can see if we can find a shuttlecraft.”

“The hotel is not far from here. And you do not have to walk me to my accommodations.”

“I want to,” Jim murmured as he pulled off his red scarf and turning to wrap it around Spock. Spock stilled, his gaze intent on Jim, who leaned forward carefully wrapping his scarf while trying to avoid Spock's eyes.

“It's not much, but maybe it'll help a little.”

The 'thank you' sounded a little breathless to Jim's ears but he knew it was just wistful thinking.

They had been walking in a companionable silence for a while before Spock brought up Carol like Jim knew he would. _There must be a saying about Vulcans and curiosity,_ Jim thought wryly as he watched his first officer trying to figure out how to ask him about the blue-eyed commander.

Taking pity on Spock, Jim said, “Out with it Spock. I know you are dying to ask me about Carol.”

“You are rarely so restrained in the company of others, however, with Commander Marcus tonight I sensed some sort of uncomfortableness on your behalf.”

“Carol and I have some past history.”

“If it troubles you, I would be willing to listen. However, I will understand if you are not willing to do so.”

“I wanted to ask her to marry me. But before I could, she broke up with me.  Which I guess was better than if she had yes and then broke it off.”

When Spock didn't say anything, Jim glanced at him.

“I admit based on my knowledge of relationships in your past, I am surprised.” Jim flushed at the response because he knew the Vulcan had been aware of his various hookups even though it had been pretty non-existent for the past year.

“Yeah well, I was in love. And it wasn't enough.”

“Sometimes,” Spock said hesitantly, “Sometimes it is not.”

“That sounds strangely philosophical coming from you,” Jim replied turning to stare at Spock.

“Indeed?”

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Spock stopped, Jim halting beside him.

“I had expected to become bondmates with Nyota,” Spock said, his voice low and Jim felt the familiar ache in his chest whenever he listened to Spock talk about Uhura.

“The chances of us bonding after the destruction of my betrothing link in addition to my decision to stay on the Enterprise were statistically high. However, in the end we chose to end our relationship. Nyota had told me that sometimes people grow out of their relationships. She said, 'it is possible to love someone and no longer be in love with them.'”

“Yeah I know, but that doesn't mean it wasn't my fault.”

Spock continued, staring down at the ground for a few beats before turning to look at Jim, “My mother, once had said something similar. That the events that do occur are not necessarily because of who we are or what we do and that all we can do is to take it in stride. That sometimes things are not meant to be even after we've done everything we can.”

The fact that Spock was trying to give comfort warmed him. And it eased the doubts that had lingered after seeing Carol again. Doubts and fears that he thought he had long laid to rest.

Jim hesitantly placed a hand on Spock's arm, half-wondering whether he would be rejected. But Spock didn't move, his eyes were on him, his lips were lifted up at the corners as if he was trying to suppress a smile. And in shocking clarity, Jim realized that he was way past falling in love with his first officer and for the first time it didn't scare him.

“Thank you.”

“It is illogical-”

“I know Spock, but let me indulge in my human sentimentality .”

Fighting off a smile, Jim gestured at Spock, “There's the eyebrow. Did I mention how I missed the eyebrow?”

“Jim.”

“I mean, I bet you're debating whether to argue or not,” Jim said bumping his shoulder against Spock.

“I have already realized it would be futile.”

“Really? I never expected you to concede defeat so easily.”

“It is a mere battle, the war still rages on.”

“Is that so? I think that's just your pride talking.”

“Jim,” and he grinned at the exasperation in Spock's voice. The night was cold but he felt warm being out here with Spock.

“What are you plans for after the conference?”

“I have not yet decided.”

“Want to spend Christmas with me? My mom is arriving in two days and she's a pretty great cook.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself and he internally he winced, half-expecting to be immediately rejected.

“I,” Spock paused, strangely hesitant, “I would not want to impose on your family's celebration.”

“You wouldn't be. It's just going to be me and my mom this Christmas. And it'll be good to have someone to help with my mom's overzealousness when it comes to Terran holidays. She has a tendency to go overboard with decorations.”

“It sounds exceedingly dangerous. Will you be able to guarantee my safety Captain?”

“Are you teasing me?” Jim asked in disbelief and filled with a sudden surge of affection for his first officer.

“I am being merely cautious. I have heard there is great danger involved when it comes to procuring a Christmas tree,” Spock replied, his lips twitching.

“Right, well I'm not sure if I can guarantee that you'll come out unharmed from the usual Kirk family holiday,” Jim said smiling, “but trust me when I say it'll be worth it.”

Eyes fond, “I do trust you.”

 _Maybe shore leave won't be so bad after all,_ Jim muses, warm despite the cold, his heart beating in happiness as they continued walking.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i. Title comes from a line from the poem "Compulsively Allergic to the Truth" by Jeffrey McDaniel  
> ii. Loosely adapted from the prompt, "During a rare shore leave on Earth over the holidays, Kirk returns to Iowa, but coming home isn't quite what he expected."


End file.
